Carah's Blog

This Will CHANGE Your Life.

You know those times when you are scrolling through someones Instagram.. and you awkwardly realize you are about a year or 2 deep into their pictures…. Yeah that was me today. BUT… I found this… and it struck me SO hard.. it was like this awakening.  It's the most perfect thing. 

A little less than a year ago, I decided I was going to stop reading hate.  I stopped seeking it out.  It's one thing to come across hateful comments on my youtube videos or twitter… But actively seeking it out is another story. One day I decided that it was bringing me down and it was affecting me too much, and I HATED IT. I am an incredibly sensitive person so I had to make a choice that was best for me. I stopped reading it and going to those horrible depths of the internet where trolls lurk... and my life has been SO MUCH BETTER you have no idea.  Not reading that unnecessary hate made me realize that what those random people are saying officially has NO IMPORTANCE.  If the person they are talking about doesn't hear them… then what they are saying is just going into the universe…. NOT the place they want it most… in my head.  

When I read this quote it took me back to where I was a year ago when I stopped reading. This is something that I would consider printing off and hanging on my wall. It's the most beautiful reminder and something I think everyone should read everyday.

YOUR CHOICES ARE YOURS.  You can do whatever you want with this beautiful life.  You can own your mistakes and own your successes.. thats what makes to so awesome.  If you want to make your life amazing.. It's up to you to do that and no one else.  If someone wants to hate on you and the decisions you make… it doesn't matter because you can feel proud that you have paved the path that you have… and that includes the GOOD and BAD.  I think this is also freeing knowing that making bad decisions is something that you have to own.. and the consequences that come with it is something that you have to deal with.  I'm not saying that it a bad or negative way.. but in a completely motivating way.  It's okay to make bad choices.. but owning them is part of the process of living a better more positive life.

This quote is probably the most motivating and inspiring thing I have read.. and makes me realize that NO ONE can make my life better.. and NO ONE can make my life worse but me.  If someone wants to hate on me and tell me I'm not doing something right GO AHEAD.  PLEASE…. WASTE YOUR TIME…. let that negativity POUR out of your mouth until in infects you own life.  Because at the end of the day… MY choices are what matters… and that means I will live my life the way I want.. and I will do EXACTLY what makes me happy. I will do what i think is best for my kids, I will do what I think is best for my pets, my husband, my family and ME.

Let me know in the comments what your all time favorite quote is!! 


LOGGING OFF!

Ugh… It's been such a weird couple of days for me.  I have always been an internet person.  I have always loved social media and NEVER have been one to complain about it.  If people wanted to whine of Facebook about something.. it never affected me.  I just would scroll past it.  I have never been one to whine on social media either.  Not because I want to show a perfect life, but because I don't really feel like anyone cares about my problems or my depressing day.

Yesterday was the day that started these odd feelings.  It came out of no where.  First was a little joke.  I said something in the vlog that was supposed to be sarcastic and dramatic.. it ended up offending so many people.  I didn't think a title of a vlog was too big of a deal.  I mean… We all do it… we all use a little click-bait here and there… that's Youtube for ya.. lol.  But I got a lot of mean comments about it. My whole comment section was filled with things like. "Hopefully something bad doesn't happen to you… you know how the universe works." "You don't even care about our feelings and that we were worried about your family." "You must be desperate!" "What about all those people who are ACTUALLY DYING!" Usually I can brush off a few mean comments here and there.  But yesterday I felt ganged up on… and it made me want to just NOT sign into my youtube and read anything… and honestly… quit vlogging for a while. So instead of sulking… I went to watch some other videos that I would find enjoyable.  Michelle Phan.. She always makes good inspiring videos.  I LOVED it.  Such a well done thought out video with great ideas.  I left a nice comment about it and decided to read the comments from other people. There was SO much bashing.  So many people calling each other names.  Arguing over every little thing on the planet. Not only that but i personally found the arguments a little petty which is why it got to me even more. People couldn't just watch her video in a light hearted way.  EVERYTHING had to be taken out of context.. taken far too seriously… and made into heavy negativity.  I was already in a bad mood so that just was the icing.  So I moved on.  I started reading an article that was posted on my FB feed about a girl in the public eye who gets scrutinized about her thin frame. As someone who has struggled with anorexia… I HATE body shaming.  I thought this would be a positive article on how we can stop body shaming and make a change.  Again… people weren't looking at it in a positive "Let's do something to change this!" attitude. People were saying things like "SHE DESERVES IT!" and "Eat a burger!"  It was like.. no matter where I went… it was DARK.  No happiness… no uplifting… no support anywhere. 

Today I felt off.  REALLY off.  Travis even asked me what was wrong and I told him I didn't know. I just feel off.  I'm not mad, or sad… just off.  Kind of like I just want to sit and stare off into space, be in my own head and not talk to anyone. (which is kind of impossible as a Mom.. LOL.)  You know when you were a teenager and you would lock yourself in your room to read a book or listen to music, and all you wanted was be alone. Yeah, that's what I wanted to do today.

That's when I sat down at my computer tonight to relax and came across another article on my Facebook feed that someone posted.  "WHY MARRIAGES DON'T WORK TODAY!"  This is the kind of article I roll my eyes at all of the time.  Being stupid I clicked it.  Started reading and realized…. THIS.  THIS IS WHY I FEEL THE WAY I FEEL.  So much unnecessary negativity has been poured into my life the last couple days from stupid stuff on the INTERNET.  I feel like I haven't read ONE positive thing in the last 2 days.  Everyone seems so unhopeful and resentful about LIFE and about the world we live in. It started making me feel like there was no hope for the world… and I have NEVER FELT THAT WAY. I found myself EXPREMELY annoyed with people attitudes.

It made me realize.  There are a lot of cynical people in the world. A lot of people who bully, who blame, who want to tear others down to make themselves feel better. Make others feel sad because they feel sad.  There are so many people who fish for comments with negativity.  I just HATE IT. Yes I complain at times…. I am aware of this.  TOTALLY AWARE.  As you know.. me and Travis have been really trying to change this in our lives. But even though I complain sometimes.. I have always considered myself someone that sees the world through rose colored glasses… almost nieve at times.

I decided that I need to step back.  Not from Youtube of course. I will still be uploading videos for you guys regularly.. and updating twitter and things.  But I think sometimes its important to unplug when you feel affected by people online.  I need to log off.  I need to skip all these constant articles and blog posts people share on my FB feed.  I'm done reading about how your parenting styles are better than mine.  Why you are a better person for eating Organic non GMO gluten free diets. Why you are smarter than me for not vaccinating. Why you have no kids but when you do they will NEVER watch TV.  Why marriages will never work today.  Why you are ruining your kid with an iPad. It's like a dark cloud over our heads ALL THE TIME with every single decision we make.  I wish us as a society lived more light-heartedly.  Didn't take things so serious.  Just let things go.

I guess what I am trying to say is… I'm logging off for a while.  Doing what I DO online and leaving it at that.  :) Have you ever taken a hiatus off the internet? If so why? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!


High School Experience, Moving, and Preggo Cravings

Since a lot of you asked me questions on Facebook.. I wanted to try to answer as many as possible.  But some don't need a whole post for themselves so I decided to answer a few in one post.  Hope you enjoy!! 

I did find a pre-school for Alaina.  It's a two day a week school… and its from 9-11:30 which is PERFECT.  I didn't want her to spend all day in school as she is only 3.5 years old and since I'm a stay at home Mom, I didn't feel like she needed to.  It's a co-op type of school which means there is a lot of volunteering and things like that.  This type of school isn't for everyone.  I personally really like being involved and volunteering in her class once a month. We also have to bring snacks in for the class occasionally.. and also do some cleaning to keep the school up.  I think it's such a cool thing to be involved.. especially since she is so young.  She LOVES when it's my day to help in class.. and gets really excited when I get to be there. Not only that.. I love being able to see what she does during school....What she plays with.. What activities she does.. what she has for snack.. and how she plays with other kids. I find myself to be one of those annoying moms that asks her every question in the book when I pick her up.  So this way I can actually SEE what she does. It's very cool!

Ever since I was pregnant with Emery my FAVORITE sandwich topping is Banana Peppers.  SO GOOD… and I ever liked them before I was preggo. LOL.  I find that strange.  I also like lettuce, mayo and mustard, Cheddar Cheese… and thats about it.  I don't like a ton of stuff.  I hate when sandwiches have too much going on and don't close… I find it so annoying. LOL

I am one of those rare people that can say high school was AMAZING. It was so much fun and I don't have a lot of bad memories from it.  I didn't really have any boyfriends..which I didn't like at the time.. but now looking back I wouldn't have changed a thing because I feel like that is why high school was so good for me.  I didn't have to deal with boy drama.  I had a really really close group of girlfriends and we are all still friends today.  I did Cheerleading and I loved it.  It was my biggest passion in school and I was so lucky to do it with all of my best friends.  I didn't get bullied in high school (middle school was different).  It was just a really fun experience for me… and I don't regret anything from it.  Maybe I just had a cool school or a cool class… either way I feel very lucky! In all honestly I could go as far as saying I miss it sometimes :)

High school doesn't have to be a crappy experience.  Find people who really make you happy, and you have fun with… It doesn't matter if they are popular or not.  If you find people you truly LOVE hanging out with then you can have a great high school experience.  Also find clubs or activities that truly interest you.  Whether it be chess club, glee club, spanish club, art club, or a sport.  It doesn't matter what anyone thinks either.  Do what you love and spend time with people you have a great time with!

Me and Travis would really enjoy California I think… We also talked about moving to Maui for like 2 years then back to Oregon.  We love warmer climates.  BUT we love family too much and that is the most important thing to us BY FAR.  We would never leave family for weather.  We can suck it up. So in other words… unless all of our family moves away… we won't be. 

Thanks for the questions!! xoxo