Carah's Blog

Shopping oh shopping...

Seriously... this has been the most difficult time to decide not to shop for a month, but I guess its testing me.... and I want to prove to myself I can do it. I just found out my hubby is going to be gone for 4 weeks instead of 3...and I seriously just want to cry!! (it's only the fourth day..and this whole time I thought it was 3 weeks). I'm just upset, and when I get upset and bored I want to do the one thing that makes me happy..and that is shop. I don't know why that is and I don't know why I feel the need to. Its weird. When I lived in Portland, I lived literally 5 minutes from the mall...walking distance. my apartment complex was named after the was ridiculous. I guess I just got in the habit of shopping when bored. Whenever I had nothing to do, or had a break in my day, I would just walk over to the mall in 5 seconds and shop. Whether it be "window shop" would always end up in a purchase. Since I moved to my new city...I think my habit has fallowed. TJ maxx and Ross are super close, and whenever I have nothing to do that's where I go...because thats what I always did before!! I don't think its a compulsive shopping disorder by any means... I just think its a horrible habit that I have developed and it's hard to ignore!! It gets my mind off's a passion so it makes me happy... I can focus my attention on that for a couple hours and I'm happy. That is until I spend $100.00 and realize "shit, there goes a half days work! "

Now that my hubby is gone, I have all this free time. I haven't shopped for ANY UNNECESSARY items....which is great....but I'm so temped its not even funny. Its like I almost pull into the TJmaxx parking lot without even thinking "oh not supposed to spend any money right now". I'm at this weird point though...where I want to control it... and I want to save money!! Its not that I'm broke by any means...but people do get broke...and buying unnecessary things will get you there.

I think more than anything I'm just frustrated with my hubby being gone...and I want to make myself happy with my favorite thing!! does anyone else ever feel this way??