Carah's Blog

The Old Days

So, I haven't signed into MySpace in probably about 6 months... I randomly decided to sign in today, and there it was.... my old blog from 2006-2007!  I was about 20 at the time.... and boy was my life completely different!!  Not in a necessarily in a good way and not necessarily in a bad way... just different. 

There are times when I miss that time in my life.  Not saying that I dislike my life now... I LOVE my life, my husband, my house, my city, and my soon to be baby!  But there was something about my life then that was so free....even though through my blog posts I sounded like a complete stress case.  I was in beauty school at the time...which I remember so vividly!  Doing hair was so new to me, and I remember learning everything... being stressed out on the floor when I would get clients... meeting some really close friends... it was such a focused time in my life! I was living on the 3rd floor of an apartment complex in the middle of my favorite city... Portland!  I had a "boyfriend"...who is now my husband.  He lived 1 1/2 hrs away so we only saw each other on the weekends... but when we did it was amazing, and a full on vacation from our everyday weekly lives.  I did art almost every day, and strived for art shows whenever I could get them.  I was so inspired CONSTANTLY from all the artists, galleries, and low brow style artwork all around us.  I lived across the street from my favorite mall.. it was a 5 minute walk.  I could go there anytime I wanted.  When I was stressed, bored, or just wanted to window shop.  The people at forever 21 knew me by name.  But at the same time... even though my life seemed so much fun, amazing and free... I still didn't know myself very well.... but I think that's what made it so interesting.

Back then... even though i was 20-21... I felt so old...but I look back and I was SOOOO YOUNG.  I couldn't comprehend that there was a future ahead of me.  I felt like my life then was going to be my life forever.  All the stresses I felt were always going to be there.  I could see passed that moment.

No one can tell the future... and everything is so momentarily stressful and feels HUGE at that time.  You don't know where your life is going to go, where you will be in 1,3, or 5 years... but you think.... I HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING NOW!  Even when I was 18 and in dorm life I felt that way.  I felt old... I felt like I had to know exactly what I wanted to do in life and exactly how my life was going to go! I wanted to meet a guy SOO BAD, I didn't know when and who I was going to marry... or even if I would ever find a guy to marry...and that was agonizing.  As I read my blog posts I seemed so desperate to know how my life was going to turn out... and since I was 20 years old... I had to figure it out.  When in reality.... I didn't.  I didn't have a CLUE that this is how my life would be now.  I love my life now... and the thought of me stressing so much over every little thing just made me realize that sweating the small stuff just isn't worth it!  I don't know if I believe in fate.... but really... my life could have been 100% different if I would have done ONE thing slightly different.  SOOO many different things have happend in my life in just 5 years... its almost crazy to think about.  It just proves that your life will always come together..... even though I'm only 25 right now...I feel old, when in 5 years I will look back and think WOW, my life was SO DIFFERENT back then...I was so young... who would have thought I would be here now!  Now I can tell myself... some things might feel like SUCH A BIG DEAL now....but that doesn't really mean much in the whole scheme of things.  Also... I have learned not to take your present life for granted... definitely embrace it!

I know I have a lot of young followers.  14, 16, 18, 20!  I get so many questions about boys, friends, what to major in, and whether they are making a good choice in life.  I try to give the best advice possible... but just remember... you are YOUNG.  Your life WILL come together.  Things will change for the good and bad, you will meet many guys, many friends, and you might even change majors 3-4 times... (like I did)  but eventually things come together. :)  When you meet the love of your life... you will be like WOW... why did I stress so much about guys.  Or why did i think I would never meet someone... it was pointless worrying.  You will also realize that the friends you have in high school will not be your only friends in life.  and you will learn to be open to SO many people.  You will find different passions.  Some will stay with you some will go.  You will get opprotunities that you never thought you would get.  Things just happen unexpectedly.

Ok, i'm getting mushy now.  But I just was thinking... so I thought I would put my thoughts into words.  Plus my old blog was so interesting because I wrote EVERYTHING.  Even if it was a 3 sentence blog.  I wrote it down. 

Lol... I don't really know where I'm going with this post.  I guess.... to sum it up....

1) Don't take things for granted

2) Don't sweat the small stuff

3) You cant tell the future... just go with it

4) Enjoy every moment.... soon it will be a memory!

5) Be open minded!

Anyways... I might post more like this... or maybe not.  Do you like these posts?  I personally love writing... and to be honest... when I write like this I don't think about grammar or spelling at all I just write.  I have always been like that.  Until next time....

Carah Amelie