Carah's Blog

Q&A - Eating Disorder, FEARS, Potty Training

I'm not sure what Travis's answer to this is.. but I think ALL mom's can agree on my answer. I fear I am not raising my kids good enough, or I'm not a good enough Mom.  This is something that all Mom's deal with not just me.  To us, raising our kids is THE most important thing we will ever do. It's always in the back of my mind that… "I could have handled that different" "I buy her too many toys" "I yell too much" "Do I play with them enough?"... No matter what you do you feel you could do better.  It's just part of Mommyhood.  :)

Here was my problem with Bug.  I listened to other people to much and didn't follow my Mom instincts.  Everyone told me she should be potty trained by 2.  So many people said… "MY Kids were potty trained by 2!!" Like it was this universal age that is set in stone and if your kid isn't then… WTF??  I knew Alaina wasn't ready.  I started a little after 1.5 years because I felt pressure from outsiders.  This time around.. I will never do that.  I'm going to use my gut instincts.. and I think it will be much easier this time around.  I think it also depends on the Kid. Who knows… maybe Emery will be ready at 1.5 years.

Honestly.. Vlogging is NOT a normal job at all.  It's normal to me, and to people who watch vloggers regularly… but not to other people that aren't familiar with youtube. No matter how long I vlog, people will probably not really get it, or think its weird.. and I have just accepted that. I have never really been one to care what others think about what I do.  I remember always telling people I wanted to be on the Real World SO bad… I even thought about sending a tape LOL.  So many people would say, "REALLY? you would want your life out there for the world to see? NOT ME.. that would be so weird." and for some reason I never thought that way… I'm just not that private of a person. I'm not sure what my parents thought.  My parents are always very supportive of what I do!  I think they had their legitimate concerns.. but that is understandable.  They are very open to it, and they don't mind being in them at all. Travis's brother and Girlfriend also started a vlog channel of their own which was really cool!

At first yes.  It was the first time I had ever talked about it on my channel.. and I had been on youtube for 3 years at that point!  No one knew until then.. so yes, I was a little scared.  But at the same time… it has never been something that has bothered me to talk about. If you watched my eating disoder story video… you will see that I am pretty nonchalant about it. As I said above.. I'm not a private person in the slightest… which is very strange being that I'm so shy.  I don't mind talking about my struggles or experiences.  I have this strong urge to want to help people and inspire people.. and I feel like sharing my life experiences really helps to satisfy that part of me.